Welp, my darling Reader, the time has finally come. I woke up two mornings ago and realized I wouldn't be offering The Great Pleasure Challenge again. Something has been in the process of shifting over the last few weeks and whatever mysterious mechanism at play in my body and my energetic field made its last incremental move and clunked into place with a visceral thud. My response surprised me a little: "Huh. Okay." And then I got up and made myself some coffee. I loved the Challenge so much...
5 months ago • 3 min read
My vibrant dewdrop, Reader I have this super idealistic idea that TikTok could save the world. Just bear with me. So, TikTok has this profound potential to break down barriers and show people as they truly are, rather than through filtered and curated images (I KNOW there's going to be a pile-on about this "unfiltered" statement. And to that I say: bring it on). It's able to connect people from different backgrounds with directness and simplicity and lack of artifice that I think is just so...
7 months ago • 3 min read
My dearest crumpet, Before every Pleasure Challenge I wonder if I need to do a rebrand, because “pleasure” is such a loaded word and people are bound to misunderstand. (truly, this happens pretty much every time) You see, the Great Pleasure Challenge is thusly named because I’m a literal biscuit and because asking “is this in my pleasure” and then proceeding (or not, depending on your answer) is what actually happens. You see, the Pleasure Challenge isn’t about having more pleasure in your...
8 months ago • 3 min read
Last Summer I Died This last summer I died. Sort of. My father died, and immediately after (I mean four days after) my mother had a stroke. And in the weeks leading up to my father’s passing my child’s already tenuous mental health was tanking. I was doing the best I could within my abilities to keep their head above water - and keep the suicidal ideation at merely ideation - while we waited for a spot to open up in a partial hospitalization program. The quiet and stillness that descended...
8 months ago • 5 min read
I don’t know if you caught it but my dear friend and every-time-challenge-taker Kate and I had a great discussion on Facebook live today about what it’s like to use the tools and practices from this program in daily life. Well, we tried to Facebook live. We ended up having to zoom and then share that to Facebook (I can’t for the life of me understand why THAT ended up being the easiest option). Kate said a bunch of very profound things during our conversation today. She talked about how the...
8 months ago • 2 min read
Reader my fierce little nugget, In case you didn't know: The Great Pleasure Challenge serves as a process to honor your capacities and your limits. At its core the Challenge is a way to bring active consent into your life. Far more than just an exploration of just what's fun and feels good; it's a deep dive into how we can honor ourselves by recognizing when to say yes, and more importantly, when to say no. In the Challenge we arrest the mechanism that has us chronically saying yes before...
8 months ago • 2 min read
Reader, my little flame, The key difference between being a reactive people-pleasing “good girl” and being a kind, generous, loving human being (even though the actions may appear exactly the same) is in the brief pause of checking in with myself and doing what squares with my heart and gut. The truth is I genuinely love a lot of the actions associated with being a “good girl” and a people-pleaser. They delight me. (If you know me irl you also know this to be true) But if I don’t first take...
8 months ago • 2 min read
Reader, My coziest pair of slippers! If you've been waiting with bated breath since my last email to hear more about the next workshop I'M SO SORRY PLEASE BREATHE NOW! Whew. It's finally here, you can stop turning purple. I'm so excited to tell you more. Drop the Good-Girl (or Good-Boy) Conditioning: An Easy Peasy Program for Fixing People-Pleasing For Good If you’ve ever: Gone out with someone you didn’t want to just so you would be able to say that you gave it a fair shot before ultimately...
8 months ago • 4 min read
Reader, My fragrant vanilla bean! If you've been waiting with bated breath since my last email to hear more about the next workshop I'M SO SORRY PLEASE BREATHE NOW! Whew. It's finally here, you can stop turning purple. I'm so excited to tell you more. Drop the Good-Girl (or Good-Boy) Conditioning: An Easy Peasy Program for Fixing People-Pleasing For Good If you’ve ever: Gone out with someone you didn’t want to just so you would be able to say that you gave it a fair shot before ultimately...
8 months ago • 2 min read
Upcoming Reader, My sweet buttered noodle! I hope February is being good to you! There's a lot happening in the World of Pleasure, so take a look and mark your calendars. February Events Workshop "Using Dating Apps to Cure People-Pleasing: A Practical Guide" February 24th If you're in the process of untangling people-pleasing from your life you've probably discovered that one of the hardest places to kick the habit is when it comes to dating and romantic relationships. That was certainly true...
9 months ago • 2 min read